okay so like. i'm two days out from boards and i genuinely cannot make myself care even though i actually like commerce? picked it myself, love the subjects when they're just subjects, but the second it becomes this whole exam performance thing my brain just shuts down. it's not even fear at this point it's just. nothing. like i know i should be freaking out or cramming or whatever but instead i'm just sitting here fully aware i haven't studied and also fully unable to feel the urgency that should be making me move.
it's so stupid because i GET the material, i chose this, but turning it into formatted answers for some examiner who's gonna skim my paper in 90 seconds has completely killed whatever interest i had. and now i'm just stuck in this limbo where the exam feels both too close and too abstract to matter. anyway. guess i'll figure it out or i won't. whatever happens happens at this point